Can't Make This Up

Latest Episode

Episode 50

Newark True Jerk

50 episodes! Anita returns to tell us about a romantic journey to New Jersey she made against her better judgement. We meet a hapless serial killer, Jersey muppets, homewrecking foreskin and more!

Performers

You can see Abbie perform musical improv Fridays at 7PM at the People's Improv Theater with Title of Team. You can find Morgan online at MorganPhillips.com and @Morgan on Twitter. His 1,000 Scenes project is nearing its end, so check that out! Kevin performs Thursdays at 8PM with Junior Varsity. You can see him Saturdays at the PIT with the Baldwins at 8PM. Find Anita on Twitter at @Anitajewtina.

Episodes

  • Episode 49

    No Balls In Your Court

    Robin was pressured to join the boy's basketball team by her father in middle school. It didn't go too well. We hang out with a couple guys really trying to impress their friend's daughter, kids in a faulty pool and of course Michael Jordan and his son, Kim.

  • Episode 48

    Sausage Bar Me

    Brian had a hard time getting the nerve to visit gay bars. Eventually he made it to one in NYC, but it wasn't the ideal experience. We find a beer cooler apartment, a guy who can't stop backing up and a weird, real-life game of Clue.

  • Episode 47

    I'm Stalkin Here!

    Amelia met a guy on vacation and ended up stalking him after she got back to NYC. We meet hip Puerto Ricans, Detective Johns and we drink radioactive Piña Coladas.

  • Episode 46

    Pew Soon

    Violet brought a toy gun to school the day after the Columbine massacre. It didn't go well. We meet rebellious kids, troubled Juggalos and a couple with weird ways of showing their love.

  • Episode 45

    Moms Doohickey

    Val thinks of herself as a late bloomer, which is why her friends were surprised by her middle school hickey. We meet a psycho little girl, suicidal theater director and a punk band who is frankly terrible with children.

  • Episode 44

    Old Lady Peace

    Adam was schooled on the ins and outs of matters of love by his grandmother and aunt. We visit the North Pole, packed French bakeries and trashy families!

  • Episode 43

    Orgy-in Of Species

    Jefferson has a sexual awakening after his separation from his wife. We visit a polite orgy hostess, enthusiastic masturbators, underwear parties, sad bros and sex restaurants. Apologies for some audio strangeness during the story. The entire story is audible, but there are some clear level differences.

  • Episode 42

    Mothers Fray

    Lori's mother constantly body shamed her. Thank goodness she has the therapeutic outlet of storytelling to work out the years of torment. We lighten the mood by visiting a Tom Sawyer-like Jesus, angry aunts and unintentionally funny accident victims. Enjoy!

  • Episode 41

    In The Reserves

    Drew studied abroad in South Africa in college, and he reflects with us on the differences between himself then and now. We visit transplanted cities, dick knockers and softcore actors. Enjoy!

  • Episode 40

    O Condoms My Condoms

    Morgan overthinks his purchase of prophylactics. We meet some strange kinksters, strippers with their own terminology and some Duane Reade bullies.

  • Episode 39

    Sister Sinister

    It took a creepy existential horror to make Claire realize her deep love for her sister as a teenager. The improvisers on today's episode are very silly and so is the improv. We meet a vicious mother, an unlikely bicyclist and exiled children.

  • Episode 38

    Dad Stuff

    Justin's dad wasn't around much. He tells us how he was able to find a father figure in a very unlikely place. We meet psychics, basement monsters and... highway scouts.

  • Episode 37

    Deaf Modeling Jam

    The Price is Right holds a special place in the hearts of Val Roder's family. We meet various characters from the game show, from Bob to Drew to various models to, of course, God.

  • Episode 36

    No Home-o

    Jake Hart found himself unceremoniously tossed out on the street a few years back. He found solace and strange romance in his local bar. We visit some terrible roommates, BB Kings Bar and Grill as well as a drunken nomad.

  • Episode 35

    Fear And Floating

    Mark Pagan has a recent fear of flying. We improvise scenes with murderous robots, friendly Europeans and porn magazine writers.

  • Episode 34

    Life Is A Highway

    Lyssa Mandel had a special bond with her car as a teenager. We improvise scenes with mobile lawyers, erotic extreme sports and carnival folk!

  • Episode 33

    On A Troll

    Greta Schwartz returns to the show to tell us about a couple awful blind dates. Trolls, bratty children and meat men all make appearances later in the show.

  • Episode 32

    No Brian No Cry

    Brian Kennedy wanted to be more popular in middle school, and he found an unusual way to try to impress a crush. We visit with two Tonys as well as smelly kids and trampoline babies.

  • Episode 31

    Professor Zoo

    Steve Heisler joins us to talk about what turned him off of computer science, forever damning him to the world of pop culture journalism. We join a global ape uprising and have fun saving a professor from never existing!

  • Episode 30

    Hold It In or Keep It Right And Tight

    Karolena's day started off in a very fly way. A bunch of vomit and frightened Japanese tourists later... Anyway, the improvisers visit some mythical creatures and some supervillain divorcées. Take a listen!

  • Episode 29

    Big Easy Come...

    Carly Ann Filbin loved and lost on a New Orleans vacation. She joins me and a couple other excellent improvisers to explore cajun country, the ins and outs of love and dirty professors.

  • Episode 28

    Can't Seafairer Than That

    Emily Johnson never thought of herself as the kind of girl that participates in a pageant. But that's exactly what she did in college, and if anything, it just confirmed that she is not that kind of girl. We improvisers visit a robot family, Mad Men catacombs ghosts, the boys of Boeing and more!

  • Episode 27

    Ear Today Gone Tomorrow

    It's the first musical improv episode of Can't Make This Up! Anna Roisman is back to recount her harrowing experience getting her cartilage pierced for a web series. We visit a Patch Adams dad, hardworking groundskeeper and cop with stars in his eyes, among others. Our accompanist is the mega talented Toby Singer.

  • Episode 26

    How 2 Beat Meth

    Nhu An Do had a crystal meth problem that she kicked with the help of a shaman. We hang out with the ghost of 2Pac as well as some chickens. It's better than ska.

  • Episode 25

    Miyazaki Ride

    Asher Novek tells us about getting broken up with before he got a chance to pull the plug himself. We visit shady car renters, Red Lobster islands and all sorts of terrible break-ups. Come join the fun!

  • Episode 24

    Kissin' Hell

    Caitlin Brodnick returns to tell us about her first kiss. Was it on American soil or foreign soil? The improvisers and I explore sexual taboo in a way that makes that sort of thing fun.

  • Episode 23

    Keep Calm And Bagel On

    Anita Flores returns to tell a very fresh story about not so fresh bagels and the fresh celebrities who refuse them! The other improvisers and I do scenes about brunches in the park and penning letters from prison. Idyllic.

  • Episode 22

    Frosty Tall Boy

    Our storyteller never arrives so we decide to improvise from a suggested word! There's licking and recycling, and it doesn't get more responsible than that.

  • Episode 21

    Don't Have To Gingrich To Be My Girl

    The cast of Electoral Dysfunction joins me for a very special episode of meta moments, impressions and ceiling Star of Davids. Robert A. George tells a story about standing up to Newt Gingrich, and we make up a bunch of stuff. Like a whole bunch. It's a long one.

  • Episode 20

    Minnesortof Nice

    Brian Kennedy is from Minnesota, but now he's in New York! That means getting your hair cut by addicts and liking it. We meet a variety of super heroes and other New York transplants.

  • Episode 19

    Bro Knows

    Sam Dingman returns to talk about unlikely friends and even more unlikely advice. We can't help ourselves, we love unlikely friends...

  • Episode 18

    Ding Dong and Ditch You're Dead

    Sara ding dong ditches with a vengeance, and we shoot Tom a lot. Like, a lot.

  • Episode 17

    Are You Karaoke?

    Katie has a karaoke rival, and we take on school perverts and slumber party reveals.

  • Episode 16

    Thrift That Keeps On Gifting

    Asher talks about getting to know his uncle better after his death, and we find the humanity in a variety of people.

  • Episode 15

    Flow Like A Butterfly

    Anna commits a rap song to memory to impress her friends. We discover how terrible middle school girls are.

  • Episode 14

    Bacon Ate 'Er

    Julia discovers the lengths you need to go for a successful Lent. We find out just how many types of agents there are and how much people hate doctors and lawyers.

  • Episode 13

    Cat and House

    Caitlin befriends a cat to get a home. We have a trying time with a princess, and have some fun with some ghosts.

  • Episode 12

    Pregnantics

    Susan tells us about hiding her pregnancy from her family and describes her feelings looking back on the decisions she made as a young adult. We do our best to respectfully pull the fun we can from a powerful, moving story!

  • Episode 11

    Automatic For The Sheeple

    Lynn has an interesting deflowering, and we visit some terrible funeralgoers and troubled teens.

  • Episode 10

    Whack The Line

    Anita tells us about a couple awkward parties, and we check out some terrible roommates and hitmen.

  • Episode 9

    Duck That Wand

    We talk the perfect spiral and the Mighty Ducks. Greta tells us about how great speed dating is. We question what we know about some of our favorite SNL and SCTV stars.

  • Episode 8

    Body Singing Blues

    We discuss Santacon, and Nhu An tells us all about her quest to sing. We get to the bottom of what body singing really means and what happens to old rockers.

  • Episode 7

    Garden Variety Emetophobe

    We hear the origin story of Anna Roisman's toy poodle and their first ordeal together. Then we look in on an odd relationship, Olive Garden dates and celebrity therapy.

  • Episode 6

    Strip Clown

    Anita Flores had an unexpected houseguest growing up. We visit a strange wrap party and hate on Bubbles.

  • Episode 5

    RIcuP Lou Reed

    April Salazar has a weird history with the Velvet Underground. We decide how to be the best strippers, what is seat-saving etiquette and of course that we hate Tony.

  • Episode 4

    Fallopian Swimsuit Area

    Lynn Bixenspan tells us about a traumatic childhood event involving boobs. We get a glimpse of some strange super heroes and consider the proper name for a porno stash.

  • Episode 3

    Hand Prints of Persia

    Sam Dingman learns something about himself as a NYC cab driver. We visit the seedy side of NY crime and chain restaurants.

  • Episode 2

    Chest Shit a Kubrick

    Dawn Harris has a run in with an amorous IT guy, and we get to visit with some ghosts out of water.

  • Episode 1

    Tre Coolio

    Anna Roisman shares her experience at a Grammy after-party with Green Day. A rowdy absorbed twin shows up as does Gwen Stefani. Of course.